Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Blessed, Privileged, Revived.
I came back from Davao blessed, privileged and revived.
The 13th International Leaders Conference was such a blast, I still have a hangover from the exhilirating experience.
Months before the ILC, I was broken, tormented, demented and incomplete. I was a hypocritical servant; I went to meetings untouched by worships, numb to blessedness. I was pulled down by emotions, too much it took away my faith.
Months before, I vented my frustrations, not to God, but to alcohol. I always waited for the times I can burn my throat and swim in the ecstacy of its effects. I thought it was cool to do so; I can easily be identified as hardcore if I knew how the different drinks out in the market taste like. I tried almost everything from wine to brandy to gin to beer.
Then, intoxication gave me a good high to alleviate my misery and self-pity. It was a good getaway for a night and a day when the hangover made me feel light all over. It was all good until I found myself confused and deranged. I quarreled with mom a lot, I lacked determination to study and I was lost in service.
During the 2nd night of the ILC, the rain poured from the heavens while everyone was getting too moved by the worship. As I opened my eyes, I saw everyone unmoving with their hands still raised up high, the speaker thanking God for the blessing of rain. As the raindrops paced their way to the ground in such an enormous speed, the people around danced and chanted for the Lord. We all got soaked! And then as the rain slowed down, the clouds parted and revealed a lot of stars. When the sky got rid of the rain clouds, a few clouds remained and formed the face of Jesus twice! It was as if Jesus was looking down on me.
It was during that time in Davao also that I realized God was calling me for higher service. Ideas swarmed my mind at an instant and as soon as I got home I jotted it all down in a special notebook.
I plan to conduct a medical mission in Gawad Kalinga.
I plan to coordinate more with the other CFC ministries.
I plan to be active in GK.
I plan to bring my friends to GK.
I plan to stray away from vices.
I plan to stay patient and add another dose for reserve.
I plan to change...to bring change... to spread my blessings.
Seems too good to be true but I am overflowing with determination. Though I know it will be a long road ahead, I will tread it.
Today, I realized how actually tough my life was the past week. I juggled Pharma, Micro and Fundamentals of Nursing, all major subjects, with KFC camp and YFC camp service meetings. After school, I rushed to meetings with my reviewer at hand. This one week, I was able to prove that nothing is impossible if the work one does is through the heart.
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My cousins from Cebu came to Manila and we partied for three days in Baguio, Tagaytay and Malate. It was soooo much fun I am starting to miss them sorely.
I can't wait to be in Cebu for sembreak this year! Wee.
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Along with the blessedness came healing. Work made me stray away from regrets. I learned to forgive.
Now, we say hi when we see each other. On my part, the pain is not enormous that even a streak I fail to feel. Guess he simply a test, a person who made me realize things about me and things that I need to focus on.
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Pharmacology is fun. Microbiology is average fun. Fundamentals of Nursing is more fun...
For now.
My Pharma prof is the best...fashion-wise and lecture-wise.
I'm lovin' life.
11:47 PM
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I don't care what the world
throws at me now.
It's gonna be alright.
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