Tuesday, January 31, 2006

sentimental murder

There are still episodic moments of hurt. They still are there. I may have been happier because I unloaded unecessary emotional suitcases but the pain streaks still plague my days.

It's freaking hard to make it all go away. It feels like I'm back to square one, to the feeling of emptiness that betrayed my hopes four years ago, only that the case now is different.

It's funny how little things can change someone; how seemingly unimportant incidences, though unintentional, can break backbones.

Isn't it unfortunate how one vision can bring a thousand tears to revolt?
Isn't it sad how stares can crumble one to pieces?
How one beep and one question can ruin shaky grounds?
How two observations cause paranoia?

I had committed suicide last Wednesday. Tonight, I celebrate the success of the self-inflicted bloodshed. Then, the vultures rejoiced at my becoming; it feasted on the remains of my heart.

What I just can't understand is why it can't satisfy itself with my death; why it continues to dig deeper to devour my soul when it is the only thing I am holding to that I may live and see the day once more.

sa'yo...

Eu odeio-o. Ódio I freaking você agora. Pode você justo parar de emitir-me mensagens? Pode você parar de olhar fixamente em mim? Que querem? Você necessita ver-me com minha miséria? Você necessita observar se eu estiver indo sempre gritar se eu o vir dois? Eu não sinto nenhum amor para você anymore mas o mero hatred. Eu odeio-o. Eu quero-o desaparecer de minha vista. Para retornar nunca para trás em minha vida. Nunca outra vez. Afogue-se em seu insensitivity! Você certo sabe torturar-me mais.

11:17 PM

-----*-----
I don't care what the world
throws at me now.
It's gonna be alright.
-----*-----

Tag!




God's creation.

Lee-an. YFC. 19. Writer. Poet. Student Nurse. Future Forensic Expert. Fascinated with corpses and mummies (haha ang morbid ba?) Loves Edgar Allan Poe too much she is obsessed with his works. Loves Philosophy. Loves ranting about Politics. Gawad Kalinga Advocate. 100% Pure...dare to be. Melancholic.

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